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Blond, Black, and Blue
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Blond, Black, and Blue
Copyright © 2012 by Ruth Temple Taul.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
ISBN: 978-1-4582-0412-7 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-4582-0413-4 (e)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2012909926
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To Rose Reque
My Dear Friend and Mentor
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter One
CAITLYN PRESSED HER BACK against the wall of the closet, not daring to exhale. She knew he would hear it. He was listening for any sound, it was much too soon for the beating to end. She wiped her bleeding nose with the tail of her shirt, being careful not to sniff or bump anything around her. She felt her nose was broken, her twisted arm hung at her side.
‘I can not take anymore beating tonight,’ she thought to herself.
He was going upstairs! The children were there but he knew she would never go near the children when he was on a rampage. Just as her intense anxiety began to cause sweat to cover her brow, she immediately heard him tumbling down the stairs.
“Oh, thank God!” she breathed, finally exhaling, but quietly.
Caitlyn did not move for another thirty minutes, then stealthily left the closet. Peeking around a corner, she saw Jessie lying at the foot of the stairs, snoring softly and asleep in his drunken stupor. Even in her pain she could not bring herself to kick him as she had so often wished to do, it just was not in her to harm another person.
Caitlyn stood in the shower and let the water wash the blood away and soothe her bruises. Only then did she take something for pain and lock herself in the guest room. Early the next morning, Caitlyn was bent over the bathroom vanity splashing cool water on her face to wake up. When she raised her head her mane of long blond hair cascaded to her shoulders. She had always gotten compliments on her hair, but today, as she gazed in the mirror she did not think her hair really complimented her black eye and bruised face. Definitely too many colors clashing, she thought ironically. She had been so grateful to see that Jessie had left early.
What a night! Thank heavens she had put the children to bed early and she could only hope Jessie had not wakened them with his rampage. They had already seen too much in their young lives. How much more could they see of the violence, and not be affected for life? Children deserved to grow up safe and well loved.
In the eight years she and Jessie had been married, she had convinced herself Jessie loved them. He had always worked regularly, they lived in a beautiful home in one of the best neighborhoods in Boston. The children attended a good school and she had become a past master at covering her bruises. She hated to hear Jessie start with his reasons for beating her. She had pushed him into such a bad mood, he did not know what he was doing, or that he had not really hit her, he had only pushed her or she just lost her balance.
How many times had he convinced her that she, not he, was the one responsible for their fights.
Although Caitlyn was only twenty eight, she felt older than her Aunt Betty. Jessie had never missed an opportunity to belittle her in any way that presented itself. He was a past master at accusations.
As she applied foundation to cover her bruises, she looked into the eyes in the mirror and said, “Take inventory of your life.” That was a phrase Aunt Betty had said to her a lot lately. Suddenly, it seemed very important that she do just that.
When she finished her makeup, she got pen and paper to do her inventory properly. While the children ate breakfast, she had a mug of coffee and made her list. Jessie was the provider, although she had a tight budget with nothing left over. Her name was on the check book, but she was not allowed to use it. She had a car to drive but she was only allowed to take the children to school and back and must do grocery shopping after she dropped off the children at school, never a special trip.
She had two great kids, but she had been called to school about Logans’ behavior, they both had nightmares after they had witnessed the violence at home.
She was not allowed to have friends in. She had an Aunt Betty but could not have her in her home either.
‘This was not looking too good,’ she thought when she realized Logan had said “Mom” several times.
“I’m sorry Darling,” Caitlyn said, “Do you need something else?”
“No, Mom, I just wanted to tell you there’s a blue spot you did not cover up. I knew you would want to cover it before you left the house,” Logan said, trying to sound grown up. “And before you ask, yes, we both heard Dad last night.” Logan kept his eyes lowered. He felt if he looked into her eyes, it would embarrass his Mom too much. They had gotten pretty good at the game of pretending nothing had happened.
Suddenly, Caitlyn hated the game she hated herself for her role in it. She left the table to apply more makeup, on the way surveyed the wrecked living room. “This can not go on,” she said to herself. “These kids deserve so much more, maybe even I deserve something better too.”
There would be no point in talking with Jessie, she had tried that for years. His reaction was always the same, “you are trying to start trouble again,” he would say. “Can I never have any peace?”
One thing was sure, they had to get away from Jessie. The beatings were coming more often and were more severe. Jessie did not even bother to apologize any more. “And why should he?” she asked herself. When he comes home, all traces of his rampages are always cleaned up his life goes on undisturbed until the next one.
When she dropped Logan off at school, she asked, “How would you like to get a hot fudge sundae after school today?”
The thought of the rare treat made them both smile, “Oh, Mom, could we?” Sarah asked hopefully.
Logan leaned toward his mother said softly, “Take care Mom, maybe things will get better.”
Caitlyn was so startled by her little boy. He was trying to be supportive. Why on earth should a six year old be put in this position. She smiled and waved as they left the car but she was also planning. Some way, some how, she was getting out of here.
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The first thing to do was to call Aunt Betty. She never interfered, but if Caitlyn asked for advice, it was always practical.
That was another thing she was not allowed, putting a long distance call on the phone bill enraged Jessie. Oh, well, she was going to call if he got angry, he got angry. A thought popped into her mind, ‘do not be living here when the bill comes in.’ Where did that come from, she wondered.
Aunt Betty answered on the first ring.
“Hello, Aunt Betty,” Caitlyn said, and began to cry.
“What can I do to help you, Caitlyn? You do not have to tell me what has happened,” she said.
“I do not know, I’m so beat down I can not even make decisions! Aunt Betty, how do I get out of this nightmare I’m in?’’ Caitlyn asked?
“Praise the Lord Caitlyn, you’ve finally had enough. Now girl, lets us get down to facts. Do you really want to leave Jessie?” Aunt Betty asked.
“I’ve got to,” Caitlyn said tearfully. “He’s made a wreck of me and my babies should not have to live in this.”
“Then listen carefully, I can be there before Logan gets out of school for lunch. You pack as much as we can get in my car. I’ll get you and Sarah first then we’ll get Logan early. Leave your car there, we will not need it, do not waste time cleaning up the wreck he’s made of the house,” Betty said heatedly.
“I had thought I would leave him dinner. He will not have anything to eat,” said Caitlyn. “Besides that, I’ve never left my house cluttered and this one is a wreck.”
“Caitlyn, dear, I hate to tell you this, but the house has never been yours. It is his money, his house, his cars. He only gives you the honor of being his housekeeper,” Betty replied angrily.
“Do you think I’m being fair to leave without telling him?” Caitlyn said worriedly.
“Darling, if you tell him, he will kill you, or at least beat you unmercifully. If you want fair, look at your face, or listen to your children’s nightmares. The choice is yours, I’ll be there in two hours. You can stay with me until you decide what to do,” Betty said resignedly.
As Caitlyn replaced the phone, she remembered Logan’s last words, “Maybe things will get better,” he said. Well, they were not going to get any better staying here. Suddenly, she grabbed a garbage bag and started putting the children’s favorite toys in it. Then she put three suitcases on the bed, one for each of them.
She put pictures of her parents and the children in her suitcase. Jessie had broken all the other memento’s she had and half the furniture.
She walked through the house, it was as if she was in a stranger’s home. Aunt Betty was right, it had never been hers. Jessie had repeatedly told her so.
Aunt Betty arrived at noon. When Caitlyn saw her she started crying again. Aunt Betty folded her in her arms and let her cry. She murmured endearments and caressed her hair and back until she stopped sobbing.
“Get a grip honey, we’ve got things to do and places to go. Let us get Logan while he is out of school for lunch,” Aunt Betty said.
Logan was so surprised to see his mother, he asked at once, “Dad did not come home early did he?” he sounded so fearful.
Aunt Betty said, “Caitlyn, go tell the principal you’re taking Logan early. Now, Logan and Sarah, your Aunt Betty wants her hugs. We’re going to have a party at my house and do other fun things. Let us get in the car and be ready to leave when your Mom gets back.”
Logan got in the car at once. Sarah was delighted over the prospects of a party.
When Caitlyn returned, Logan asked, “Mom, did things get better? You can tell me, you know.”
“Yes, Darling, things did get better, I am going to take care just like you suggested,” Caitlyn answered.
Logan placed his hand on her shoulder, but did not say anything else, just letting his hand linger on her shoulder for comfort.
Aunt Betty had turned the radio on to a country music station and was softly singing along. As the miles passed, Caitlyn began to relax a little. She was taking great breaths of air and exhaling slowly in an effort to calm her shattered nerves.
“Do you sing any more Dear?” Betty asked softly.
“I do not remember when I sang last, Aunt Betty. Jessie does not care for my voice, and he wants everything quiet when he is in the house. Maybe he is right my singing is just wishful thinking,” Caitlyn said wistfully.
“Then we will just sing for fun, wont we? Help me out on this one, will you? You do remember ‘Cool, Clear Water?’ Logan, you Sarah join in too,” Betty said lightly.
About half way through the song, Caitlyn joined in. Logan and Sarah joined in sweetly in the chorus of “Cool, Clear Water”.
“Mommy promised us a sundae from Dairy Queen someday!” Sarah said when the song was over.
“Well, baby, would you believe today is the day? We will stop at the very next one we see,” Aunt Betty promised.
They found one two blocks further on and Aunt Betty ordered everyone a large, hot fudge sundae. The children’s eyes sparkled at the treat. They sat at an outside table while Aunt Betty kept the children laughing with her ‘knock-knock’ jokes. They laughed uproariously and looked so care free for a change.
As Caitlyn watched them, she could not remember when any of them had laughed with such abandon.
Chapter Two
AUNT BETTY’S HOUSE WAS on a lake and as soon as her car stopped, her dog ran out to greet them. The children were surprised to see a dog at their Aunt Betty’s house. They asked if they might play outside for awhile. They had always wished they might one day own a dog.
“Run and play all you want to my darlings, just do not go near the lake,” Caitlyn cautioned.
Betty’s house was very unpretentious outside, but inside it was beautiful, homey, and warm.
Something smelled so heavenly it reminded Caitlyn she had only eaten the sundae and a cup of coffee all day. It was now late afternoon and she was feeling weak.
Caitlyn’s stomach rumbled as she said, “Aunt Betty, could I possibly have a bowl of that soup now?”
“Of course, child, anything you want anytime you so desire. While you have your soup, I’ll go see if my dog has led your children astray,” Betty answered.
She wanted to get the soup for her, to pamper her in some way, but she knew Caitlyn needed to have the activity of getting her own. Caitlyn was on the verge of a breakdown Betty was determined to avoid that if possible.
When she found the children, they were having a great time playing catch with the dog. She suggested they all walk down to the lake to watch a sailboat.
“May we go wading in the lake, Aunt Betty?” Logan asked.
“Of course you may when you get bigger. We will have to get you both some water wings tomorrow you may go swimming, but only if your Mom or I are with you. There’s some very deep holes in this lake, so promise me you will always be very careful. Say, Logan, have you or Sarah ever caught a fish? No? Well we will do that this week too,” Betty promised.
“I do not know how to fish Aunt Betty,” Sarah said.
“Do not worry Sarah, Logan and I will teach you how, wont we Logan?” Aunt Betty said.
Logan had been suspicious of Aunt Betty since he had only heard his Dad’s opinion of her and that was not too nice. Now he looked up at her and lost his heart. She had talked to him as if he were a regular person and knew stuff. He felt his little chest swell with pride.
When Betty looked down at his proud smiling face, she knew at once she would do anything in her power to keep these children safe. ‘How could anyone be mean to a face like this,’ she thought.
“How about a bowl of good warm soup, you guys? Does that sound good?” Betty asked, as they went inside.
Caitlyn was just finishing her second bowl as they entered the kitchen, laughing at another of Aunt Bettys’ knock knock jokes.
“Aunt Betty, this soup is so delicious, how do you do it?” Caitlyn wanted to know.
“It is a secret I’m only going to share with Sarah when she starts to cook.” She looked at Sarah and winked. To her surprise, Sarah smiled broadly, and winked back.
The door bell rang, it was the masseuse Betty had phoned earlier. After introductions all around, Betty had Millie set the table up in the room Caitlyn was to sleep in.
“Caitlyn dear,” Betty called. “I would like to take the children to the movies. It is all cartoons and a Gene Autry Western. Do say you will take this massage in my place,” Betty pleaded.
“Oh, how I would love to Aunt Betty. Are you sure you would rather go to the movies? I have not had a massage in years, if I’m dreaming, do not wake me,” Caitlyn said longingly.
“How about it kids, do we want to see cartoons and eat popcorn or stay home to get a massage?” Betty asked.
Two happy children were bouncing up down, shouting “Movies popcorn.” So off went two excited children and one Aunt Betty, who was very pleased with herself.
Caitlyn quickly showered and lay on the table.
When Millie ,the Masseuse, saw Caitlyn’s back, her heart ached. There were blue and purple bruises from a recent assault, green yellow ones from old bruises.
She removed a tiny camera from her pocket snapped pictures from several angles, getting the side of her face with the black eye. Betty had requested this, just in case it was ever needed in the future.
Millie massaged Caitlyn very softly over the bruises, then smoothed an ointment over them. She worked on pressure points and used every relaxing method in her repertoire. Caitlyn’s back was a field of tension knots that mostly relaxed after an hour of massaging.
Millie realized her client was asleep. This is what she and Betty, had hoped for. After turning back the bed covers, she aroused Caitlyn just enough for her to step off the table and lie on the bed. Then, softly rubbing her back again, Caitlyn drifted into a deep and healing sleep.